Message: Picture the scene, it was only about a month ago. I was in Burtons doing a bit of shopping, I went into the changing room to try on a very fetching T. Shirt. The curtain was thrown open and at first I didnt recognise him, due to mass of hair and long beard, red bloodshot eyes and the smell of White Lightening on his breath.
"Got you, you skiving B****** " he screamed.
"Mick, what the hell are you doing you muppet ? Whats with the camera ffs ? " I said.
I pushed my way passed and rejoined my family to pay for my purchase. Mick staggered over, swaying against the counter, he pulled a well worn W.O.C. book out of his pocket and started ranting about my lack of PPE. I sent my embarrased wife and daughter outside and tried to pacify Mick, who was now wocking a sales assistant for chewing gum.
A crowd had gathered bye this time, Mick was taking photos through the window of a guy smoking at the bus stop. The police arrived as expected, Mick was well known to them apparently, it turns out he couldnt cope after finishing at Hydro, tried a few jobs, but he missed the adrenalin rush, the buzz of those midnight raids, swooping down from the roof and getting some toe rag without his safety glasses on.
He tried to find it in drink and drugs, glue sniffing,but nothing seemed to work.He would disappear for days,no buisness was safe Mick would turn up wearing his old Hydro uniform, dishing out W.O.Cs. He was banned from St James Hospital when they found a W.O.C. pinned to a coma patient for being asleep.
Well wipe your eyes because I have some good news. Mick has been clean for 2 weeks now, no need for false stimulants, hair neatly cut, clean shaven that smirk we all know and love has returned.
He has been a Traffic Warden for over a week and he is thriving. Welcome back Mick and well done fella ...